How on earth did I get myself into this?

That’s what I thought standing in the customs line in Johannesburg, South Africa, exhausted and nervous, my teammates behind me.

All I could do was clutch my passport and pray. “God,” I asked Him, “Why did You send me?”

It had been six months since I saw the announcement tucked into the church bulletin. Something inexplicable tugged at me, and before I knew it, I had committed to the trip.

In the weeks before the trip, I asked God that same question over and over again. Between the chaos of the pre-field meetings, the anxiety of my passport almost not making it in time, and the record snowstorm that canceled our fundraiser,   I couldn’t fathom why He wanted me to carry this stress.

Being significantly younger than all my other teammates didn’t help much, either. The generational differences were occasionally frustrating to navigate, and more than a few times I prayed for strength amid all these challenges.

When I stepped off the plane, I didn’t feel any different. But what I failed to notice was God preparing me to go, even when I couldn’t see His hand in it.

Throughout the course of the ten days, I could see why I was there. My unique gifts became evident in ways I had never noticed before. I was able to do a highly physical job during the clinics that suited a younger team member, and yet I was never exhausted. My love for languages came in handy when I could puzzle out pronunciations for names the rest of the team couldn’t.

And I’ll never forget speaking to a class of twelfth graders on our last day in Africa. As a twelfth grader myself, I was both intimidated and emboldened by this class of young men and women the same age as me.

The teacher explained that they were discussing the economic gender divide in South Africa, and as the adults spoke about how the youth were the future of the country, I felt the Lord stirring in me.

So, I gave them the words God had given me. “You are not the future of your  country,” I told them, reminding them of 1 Timothy 4:12. “You are the present.”

When God called me to that mission trip, I couldn’t see how He was equipping me. Yet, in His infinite goodness, He did. He put me in the right place at the   perfect time. All I had to do was place my trust in Him.